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| we have finally reached senior year. wow.i can't believe it. four years just passed in the blink of an eye. and now, the looming of COLLEGE APPLICATIONS!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH.
so yea, senior year pretty much means college apps and college essays and senior projects and tons of other fun stuffs. sounds fun. tons of fun. -_-
i can't wait until this year is over. >.>
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| wow, i undid my old layout cause it was spazzing...and this is what i find 0_0 xanga's added lots of stuff, huh? i barely recognize it anymore. guess i should get another layout so i don't confuse myself XDD | | |
| happiness is a question dependent on a person's personal preference. so i suppose that's why this is a featured question, huh?
first off, how would i know i'm happy? well, there are different types of happy. if say, i'm content with something then i feel light and as if there were no care in the world for me. or perhaps i feel fulfillment. then that happiness would leave me with a feeling of knowing i have done something that i am proud or content with and know i do not need to do anything more. however, true happiness, to me, would be indescribable peace with the world and everyone in it. you could not have a care in the world, no personal hopes or dreams or realities...you're just stuck in time at that place....as if it could go on forever. not in a bad "i want this to end now" kind of way, more as a "i never want this feeling to leave me b/c when it does, i know i will feel something missing".
some people feel this when they are doing what they love the most, like singing, dancing, playing a game or being with their loved one(s). however, to feel true happiness is quite a feat in itself, and some people only experience it once in their lifetime. i, for one, have yet to experience it, and since i have no idea what would truly make me happy, i cannot fully answer this question. i can only hope and dream for something that will make my heart soar and inprint that feeling on it so that when i am feeling down, i can go back to that memory and perhaps feel better.
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! okay i totally did not answer that quesiton...but that's okay. i thought iwas pretty cool but once i started writing i realized it kinda veered away from the topic. ^_^;;;
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| a few weeks ago i got a volunteer/intern job at the monmouth county superior court blah. so...i've been enjoying time there, stuffing envelopes, prepping and scanning, tearing envelopes, listening to the ladies talk like older versions of high school girls. highly entertaining.
so today was basically the "official" last day for most interns. because after today they don't get paid if they were getting paid. i'm gonna be going back though, seeing as i've only worked a couple of weeks. so anyway, since it was the last day, there was a pizza party and we got to meet with the head judge, judge lawlson. very big fellow. we got a nice pretty certificate and a pin that says...um...judiciary volunteer...i think >.> overall it was a good experience, sort of. since we're kinda cut off from the other volunteers it was amusing to listen to their elevator stories...about being stuck between two floors and watching everyone XD
but what was funny, to me, was the time during the party when we were talking to this indian lady...who looked old enough to be out of college...so i don't quite know why she was there.. 0_0 perhaps...she looks older than she actually is. but anyways, we're talking and not really saying anything worth mentioning here...until she asks how old we are. she asks me first [we being me and my sister], she goes "so how old are you? 12, 13?" and i'm like "...*laugh* i'm 16" XDD so she gets this huge surprise and says "wow, you look like you're 12 though. i remmber telling my mom that there were these two chinese sisters working here, and saying they look around 12, 13." and i'm just laughing. cause it's so funny. XDD and then she asks how old my sister is, and she's 14, so the lady finds out i'm older and it's like whoaaa bigger shock. hahahaha
i love people. XD
so then later my sister and i were discussing how i could pass off as a kid, for places that have like age stuff....so i could pay less XD wonderful. =D
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| godamned it. my writing has gone down the drain. i want it to mean something to me. if it doesn't mean anything to me then how can it mean anything to anyone else? my characters...they should be alive...real people on the pages when i read them, but there's no feeling. just words on paper. i need to fix that. become a better writer so that every character i make up becomes a real person, with real feelings and emotions. so real that the readers can see the character, imagine them in flesh and bones. real people.
that's what real writing should be. it's not just a book. everything, all of it should be real. that's a true masterpiece.
if only i could do that. i've got to work harder. >:[
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